A lot of people believe that there are only two reasons to elope but that’s not the case. I set out to research exactly why people who had eloped or were planning to elope decided to have an elopement style wedding inside of a traditional setting. You may be surprised by the findings! In this blog I will lay it all out for you. If these resonate with you and you’re sitting there finding yourself saying “that totally sounds like us”, then you may find yourself having your own reason to elope and have the best day ever!
It’s also important to add that out of all the people that participated, not one regretted eloping. However, I did notice that those who had opted for a traditional wedding setting, once the day was over, had mentioned that if they could do it all over again they would opt to elope themselves.
Family was the First Reason to Elope
Every family setting is different. Eloping with family or without family all depends on your own experiences, wants, and needs. These four different reasons to elope all narrowed down to subject of family.
Family Drama
A lot of eloping couples chose the untraditional route and decided on a private elopement because of family drama. They didn’t want their wedding day to be a mediation or a catfight amongst other people. If you feel as though your family can’t stand to be with one another for longer than an hour and you want a day all about you, then eloping with just the two of you may be a great option for you! Imagine a day with zero drama or regrets exploring the world with the one person you love more than anything else in the world. A true dream come true.
You Don’t Want a Reunion as a Wedding
Couples than plan to elope had sat down and wrote long guests lists with aunts, uncles, cousins, and tons of people they hadn’t seen in years. They didn’t want their wedding to be a family reunion but rather a day that was unapologetically focused on them! Some mentioned family inviting people they’d never met or seen in years and it just didn’t sit right. Your wedding is your day to celebrate your love and around here, it’s safe to do just that.
Custody Schedules
When it comes to blended families, eloping is a great option because of custody schedules with different parent sets. When you opt for an elopement, you don’t have to settle only on weekend dates. Eloping opens up tons of new opportunities for wedding dates that traditional weddings may hinder you from choosing. With multiple custody schedules, the flexibility of having an elopement may be the right option for you.
Family Traditions and Grief
One particular reason to elope for some couples were their unique family traditions and grief. Some mentioned that it didn’t feel right to have a huge wedding when they felt as though a part of them was missing on such a huge day. Eloping together with close family, or the two as a couple, allows couples to honor those that are gone and include them privately on their wedding day. Many couples may not have someone to walk them down the isle or may not even want to include that tradition but instead walk themselves, and eloping just felt right.
You have Children Together
Children are a special blessing. They can also be a reason to elope for some couples. From personal experience, I felt as though our children deserved to see and be included in their parents’ wedding. It was a time for us to become one family even though we’d already been one for a few years. It was a moment to say “this is official and this is how I want to leave a legacy”. I didn’t want a large wedding as my husband and I had already lived and had been together for three years but our love still deserved to be celebrated and unified.
Reasons to Elope: Money
Whether it’s because you value how your money is spent or because you don’t have a ton to spare, it’s no secret this is one large reason people elope.
You Can Have a Honeymoon and a Vacation
If you want a wedding, a honeymoon, and a vacation all wrapped up into one, then deciding to elope may be the best idea for you. Imagine a multi-day or even week long celebration of enjoying yourselves and relaxing rather than spending your money on assigned seats and rented linens. You can still have amazing and gorgeous wedding portraits, private vows and a ceremony, and all the important wedding things while still having an awesome vacation.
Cost of Wedding versus Eloping
Have you ever started to plan a wedding? Or thought about how much a wedding costs versus having an elopement cost? (check it out here if not!) Weddings have become a multi-million dollar market with things increasing in price everyday. It’s no surprise why couples are choosing to elope and spend their hard earned money on an experience rather than a wedding.
You Want an Experience
One reason to elope for a lot of couples was the fact that they wanted their wedding experience to be unique and exhilarating, not something that everyone else had already done. They mentioned wanting to spend their time and money on things like private helicopter tours, romantic sailboat cruises, rad off-roading adventures, or even hikes with gorgeous views (that are mostly free!). So what do you say? Would you rather opt for something that gets your blood pumpin’ and you’ll be talking about for years?
“My Fiance Wanted to Get Married, Not Go in Debt”
I thought this reason to elope was great and it accentuates what eloping is about. After this couple started planning their big wedding, they sat down and realized how much it was actually going to cost them. They realized that they didn’t care too much about the sparkly things but rather they just wanted to be married. It wasn’t about the glitz and party for them; it was about securing their relationship.
Reasons to Elope : Personality and Relationships
This brings us to the relationship dynamic of eloping. There’s really so many reasons to elope but these are some than have nothing to do with family or money, but rather how eloping makes you feel.
Your not a “Center of Attention” Couple
Lots of people don’t like to be caught in the center of attention. If you are someone that is private and doesn’t like the spotlight, then eloping is definitely your dream come true. You can get married and say vows with no one else around but you, your photographer, and the trees around you….and even then, as your photographer I will be far enough away that I won’t even hear what you are saying to one another! If saying your vows in front of fifty, hundred, or even 150+ people makes you sick just thinking about it, there’s another option: ELOPE!
The Dynamic of Your Relationship
Love has no rules. It is forgiving. Sometimes it’s unpredictable. That’s why eloping feels safe for some couples. Whether your a same sex couple or a couple part of the LGBTQ community, eloping is an option because you aren’t following anyone else’s rules or living up to anyone else’s expectation except yours. You make your own rules when you decide to elope. You are in control of how your wedding experience plays out and there is power in that.
This isn’t Your First Marriage
Whether you were a widow and beginning a new chapter in life or you found your forever after your trial run, one main reason for eloping may be because of having multiple marriages. That’s what some couples mentioned when they were asked why they decided to elope. “Been there, done that. Got the t-shirt and hat” on traditional weddings and they wanted to experience something new. An elopement is definitely a new and exciting experience!
Our Reason to Elope: You Are Older
When I did this research, I had a few mention that their age was a factor they considered when planning. Maybe it’s because you feel as though at your age, walking down the aisle and throwing flowers in the air seems silly. I think it has more to do with maturity and the frontal lobe more than anything because as we do get older, our circle gets smaller and more intentional. People come to realize what they truly want out of a wedding beyond throwing bouquets and garters and I think that comes with age.
You Don’t Know Lots of People
If you’re a private couple, having tons of people in your contact list may not be realistic. Maybe your a couple that just moved to a new location or you never had the opportunity to be amongst large friend groups. Eloping alone or with the few people that do mean the world to you just makes more sense than having a big wedding.
You Don’t Want to Wait
There’s songs made, poems wrote, and elopements had because of this. Some couples don’t want to wait to plan a huge wedding or save up tons of money. I get it though….because when you know, you know so why wait to start forever with your partner?! An elopement can be planned in as little as a few days! Ready to start, let’s talk!
The Elopement Experience as a Reason to Elope
The experience is the core of eloping. It’s all about what you want to witness and include on your wedding day.
You Want Privacy
Elopements offer the ultimate private occasion. You can tell anyone (or no one) that you want. It can be a total secret until you are ready to tell it. If you want to have a ceremony with people like a couple family members or friends, it can still be private. Privacy means including only the specially handpicked people that you’ve chosen and not people who are plus-ones to guests you haven’t seen in years.
You Want a Unique Story
Eloping gives you a blank journal to write your story; a blank canvas to create your masterpiece. Each elopement is different and unique and unlike any other before. With so many locations and sceneries there’s so much opportunity to have your wedding day be something unique and special to you as a couple.
Reason to Elope: Less Stress
When you book your photographer [aka me…], you get someone who will help location scout for your ceremony and can help with planning your elopement. Your not worrying yourself to death over RSVP’s and assigned seating. You don’t have to worry about whether the caterer gets enough food for all your guests. Choosing to elope means you get to include things that resonate with you two and exclude anything that doesn’t.
You Want Intentional Moments
Eloping with your partner allows you more time together on your wedding day. You get a day or two together spending intentional moments together and making memories; not entertaining hundreds of guests. You get to sit back and relish in the moments and really soak it in. During your elopement, it won’t be a surprise when you get to take a deep breath and say “wow, this is really happening” because you’ve decided that those exact intentional moments is the reason to elope.
You Love Spontaneity
“Ohh, look at the cliff over there! Do you think we could step on it and get some portraits?”
I mean, when’s the last time you heard that at a wedding? Living on the edge (ha, see what I did there!) can be so exhilarating and so can eloping!
Elopements versus Weddings
Are you in the beginning stages of planning your wedding and don’t really know just yet which is the best route for you? When you look at elopements and weddings side by side, these reasons to elope make you wonder why people ever wanted a wedding in the first place.
Reasons to Elope : Unrealistic Pressures
- The pressure to do what others are doing.
- The pressure for your wedding to be perfect.
- The pressure to have alcohol or catering or expensive favors.
- The pressure to put on the most beautiful wedding, the best after party and the best experience for your guests.
- The pressure to include people in a wedding when you don’t want to.
Let go of all of those pressure and elope. Your safe here to say goodbye to these pressures and embrace freedom.
Adventure and Outdoor People
If you’re a couple that loves being outdoors in nature then having an adventure elopement could be perfect for you. You can include adventures like hike, camping, exploring, picnicking, just to name a few. It makes sense to spend the best day of your life in an atmosphere that makes you feel at home. Nature can be a beautiful backdrop for you to vow your love.
You Aren’t Excited for Planning a Wedding
“We had started planning our 150 guest wedding with a venue, color schemes, and food menus. Someone asked us if we were excited for our wedding and realized that nothing about planning a wedding was exciting. We were miserable so we decided to elope instead.”
Does that sound like something you’d say too? That’s what one couple said when I asked them what was their reason to elope. They’d been so fixated on planning an experience for everyone else they realized that their experience was less than.
Reasons to Elope : Unrealistic Expectations of Traditional Weddings
Traditional wedding expectations sound like this:
- You can’t see one another until walking down the aisle or right before
- You have to have cake, have to cut it, and then feed it to each other
- You should wear a white dress
- You need favors and gifts for everyone. so many favors. so much money spent.
You don’t have to settle, friend. You can just elope.
Your Time and Energy
Planning an elopement and booking with a photographer that helps you along the way can save you lots of time and energy. You won’t have to worry about forgetting vendors or guests. You can spend your time on things that bring your joy and excitement instead of dread and regret.
What the Purpose: Marriage versus Wedding
Last but not least, one reason to elope is realizing what this day is all about. Are you planning a wedding for the wedding part or the celebration or marriage? What is the purpose of the day your planning? Is it to have intentional moments and memories with your partner? How about experiencing something new with them and having a private intimate ceremony? Are you planning a party experience for other people or are you celebrating the journey of marriage that awaits you?
What’s Your Reasons to Elope?
Eloping can look and feel like anything you want it to. Whether it’s something you’ve always dreamed of doing or one of these reasons to elope speaks to your heart, your wedding day can be the best day of your life. Making the decision to elope can be just as easy as choosing the right photographer to elevate your elopement experience. When you’re ready, I will be waiting!
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